My heart was filled with so much joy when I saw the two lines. At that moment, a whole lot of emotions were felt. Those two lines did not guarantee a happy ending, but I was excited. I felt so much joy and anxiety. I wanted to shout it out to the whole world, but not just yet. We, as women, have been crowned with the privilege of carrying and bringing life into this world. And the emotions are so overwhelming. The most amazing thing is how everything you feel comes from the core of your being. When you laugh, it comes from the deepest part of your soul. When you cry, tears just flow like they are from the biggest of waterfalls, though they last but for a moment. When you are angry, you express it sincerely and honestly, and at that moment – in a split of a second – you forget, forgive and move on. For me that was amazing and a real reminder that we have the purest forms of being inside of us. If only we could be able to live and practice that in our lives daily.
While the life you are carrying inside of you continues to grow, your body changes physically and it also prepares you for all that is to come. You have moments when you love how your body looks and also moments when you love to hate it (but deep inside or subconsciously, you love it). When the day finally comes, the excitement, anxiety, joy and fear are at their peak. That first cry you hear changes everything. The lights in the room are brighter, the sounds of everything and everyone else soften, and all you hear is the cry of the precious soul you have just delivered. The joy is overwhelming. I swear I could hear his heartbeat from a distance even before I could hold him. When I finally held him, I experienced love in a new way no words could explain. He was so perfect and so beautiful. I kissed the chubby cheeks – big and yet so tiny that my lips covered one whole cheek. Tears flowed that day – enough for both my husband and myself. These were tears of joy.
Today those two lines of hope have grown into an overtly excited three-year-old boy named Oaikanyega Luyanda. Oh, what a blessing and overwhelming joy that he now has a little brother (Thokgamo Bayanda). I am in awe at how they looked so much alike at their infancy, and yet so different in character. Their first names come from their father’s Tswana upbringing in Mahikeng and their second names from my “Xhosa” (well not quite but I will leave it here for now) upbringing where I was born and raised in the beautiful hills and valleys of a village called eLubhacweni in Mount Frere, Eastern Cape, South Africa.
Birthing these precious humans has given me a new meaning to life, it has made me strive to be a better human being. To teach them who they truely are, where they come from and to fully bask in the true spirit of uBuntu, to embrace wholly who they are. To do all this and be an inspiration I need to be sure of who I am, where I am from. It has pushed me to break my boundaries and to fully take in the true essence of being African, because children do what we do and not what we tell them to do.Leave a comment